Before You Meet Stuart: A STUpendous Warning Label

There are people you meet and slowly get to know. Then there are people like me, where someone probably should hand you a warning label first.

Before you meet Stuart, there are a few things you need to understand.

Do Not Mistake the Chaos for Incompetence

I may be talking about sourdough, a driveway repair, a smart-home automation, restaurant marketing, a website, a network problem, and a dog all in the same hour. It can look like chaos from the outside. Usually, there is a system underneath it. Sometimes the system exists only in my head, but it is there.

I am also profoundly uninterested in leaving a problem alone just because it technically works. If something can be cleaner, smarter, faster, more local, more useful, or simply more ridiculous in an entertaining way, I will probably investigate.

Mentioning a Problem May Accidentally Create a Project

This is important. If you casually say, 'This light switch is annoying,' I may hear, 'Please research four alternatives, determine which ones are locally controllable, check what is available nearby, and ask where the breaker panel is.'

I do not necessarily need to know how to do something before deciding I am going to do it. 'I've never done that before' is frequently not a warning. It is the beginning of the story.

I Come in at Full Volume

There is not much polite conversational idling. If I like you, you are probably going to know it. You may get stories, opinions, technical diagnostics, inappropriate observations, sudden affection, food, or all of the above before you have finished your coffee.

That intensity is not a performance. I really am that interested. In people, in systems, in houses, in businesses, in why things work, and especially in why they do not.

There Are Several Departments

Contractor Stuart, restaurant Stuart, computer Stuart, sourdough Stuart, business-owner Stuart, giddy-gals Stuart, and 'I was at Lowe's before most people were awake' Stuart are all the same person. The room just determines which department answers the phone.

I can change gears quickly because I genuinely enjoy very different kinds of people and very different kinds of work. I like knowing how the thing works, but I also like knowing the person standing next to the thing.

The Sentimental Part Sneaks Up on You

I can spend hours swearing at pavement, wiring, software, or some object that has personally offended me, then get emotional over an old photograph, a longtime friend, a dog, a house project, or a tiny reminder of where I came from.

I keep things. Stories. Details. People. Places. The before photo matters to me because I want to remember what the after photo actually means.

I Notice Things

If you tell me something matters to you, there is a decent chance I will remember it. I like bringing people into the conversation instead of talking around them. I like making sure nobody in the room quietly disappears while the louder people take over.

That can make me useful. It can probably also make me mildly terrifying when you realize how much I was paying attention.

Good Enough Is a Temporary Condition

One of the most dangerous combinations in my personality is confidence plus curiosity. I will try things. I will research. I will break the problem into pieces. I will ask why. And once I know something can be improved, pretending I do not know that becomes very difficult.

This applies to houses, websites, bread, restaurant systems, smart homes, business ideas, and apparently asphalt.

The Most Important Warning

If you hear me say, 'I have an idea,' your day may have just changed.

You might end up at Lowe's. You might end up configuring a router. You might end up eating bread. You might somehow be holding a drill. Nobody can know for certain.

But you probably will not be bored.

And That Is Pretty Much the STUpendous Part

STUpendous was never supposed to mean polished perfection. It is more like useful chaos with follow-through. It is curiosity turned into a service call, a loaf of bread, a repaired thing, a better system, a ridiculous idea that somehow works, or a story worth telling afterward.

So yes, consider this your warning label. If we meet and I seem like a lot, you are reading the situation correctly. There is just a surprisingly functional amount of 'a lot' packed in here.

Welcome to STUpendous.